miracle-of-life

Miracle of Life

 

I never thought my life would amount to anything. When I ran away to Mombasa to commit suicide I was done with life. 16 was my end. When that matatu hit me in town that May 5th 2005, I couldn’t believe I came out with no fracture, no blood clot. As hard as my head hit a metal rail I woke up in that hospital with it whole.

I see how people celebrate my depth; the words I speak or my writings. But most of you don’t know I’m living a borrowed life. You don’t know how cold those nights left me storying with prostitutes in Koinange Street. My only family at the time. The days I couldn’t stand the sight of my mother’s blood and tears when daddy came home a monster. The days I started writing poetry because I was wishing my dead sister would be alive to help me cry. I can’t be shallow even if I want to.

I’m quiet. When you’re a child of war you talk only when it’s necessary. You only get into arguments worth dying for. So long did it take me to find myself. The people who got hurt in the process I can barely count. Out here, everything is working to separate you from peace, from God. You meet human beings who act like they’ve got it together by how carelessly they afford to talk to you but when they’re alone, they’re dying to heal from their insecurities. They’re afraid to tell the world of their weaknesses. They boast of their knowledge and wouldn’t care to listen to your point of view without judgement.

But what is there to hide? The innocent children dying in Syria have not wronged anyone. They don’t know nothing about nuclear weapons. Their lives are in shambles. They can’t hide that. The children born in war in Central African Republic and DRC cannot hide their nakedness. They do not know a life of lies. But it’s easy to hide when the system gives you an illusion that you’ve been educated. You can argue in English and relay half truths to yourself because you have a job to keep and people to please. You don’t even live for yourself. You don’t live for anything.

And people tell you being expressive about your struggles is too emotional. But they’re dying with things to say. They want to tell their stories and be heard. Be understood.

I learnt there is nothing to lose for accepting who I am. For telling the world how I see God. Narrating my brokenness. If you look at this earth from afar, if you get away from it staring into space, the wonder that hits will remind you how small we are, yet so magical, so profound. We can meet each other’s souls and love. Being a follower of Jesus Christ has taught me being right is not the answer to this world’s problems, but putting people first. Before my needs. Before my understanding of things.

We come from very different places. Our ways are strange and mysterious. Our stories are what make us.

Standing from here looking back, it’s impossible I came this far. I can’t explain why God has kept me for this long. But you know, I’m thankful for all I’ve got as imperfect as I am. My two feet carry me to everywhere I wish to go. I’ve got little hair on my head but at least I’ve got a head. One that thinks for itself and makes conscious decisions. Not all of us come out of war alive. Some don’t heal from their insecurities.

I stopped arguing with people about God. I discovered how wrong it was, like mocking Him. You can’t explain to anyone what kind of Light you’ve got inside you if they can’t see your soul. There’s no point. It’s a place I wish for all humanity. All this mystery that engulfs us in the shape of a planet is enough not to get us fighting over anything. There’s only much we can ever say we understand of this place.

As tough as life continuously becomes, it’s different for those who have found their power and are using it to improve others; to teach and heal. For those whose lives are their best piece of art more than anything human beings have ever invented.

If you’ve been to the end
You never come back the same
From the mere fact that
You never thought you’d return.

Post Author: rixpoet

15 thoughts on “Miracle of Life

  • gamefly free trial

    (May 2, 2019 - 7:44 pm)

    Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article.
    I’ll make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of
    your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will certainly
    comeback.

  • gamefly

    (May 3, 2019 - 4:32 am)

    Your means of describing everything in this article is truly nice, all be able to without difficulty understand it, Thanks a
    lot.

  • gamefly free trial

    (May 4, 2019 - 2:36 pm)

    WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching for gamefly

  • gamefly

    (May 5, 2019 - 8:29 pm)

    This page really has all of the information and facts I wanted
    concerning this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

  • download minecraft for free

    (May 6, 2019 - 8:58 pm)

    This info is worth everyone’s attention. How can I find out more?

  • minecraft download mojang

    (May 8, 2019 - 12:47 am)

    Heya! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 4!
    Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts!
    Carry on the excellent work!

  • download minecraft pc

    (May 10, 2019 - 12:19 pm)

    Good day! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any recommendations?

  • g

    (May 10, 2019 - 11:24 pm)

    Awesome post.

  • g

    (May 11, 2019 - 11:16 am)

    Hello colleagues, how is everything, and what you would like to say on the topic of this post, in my
    view its in fact remarkable for me.

  • free minecraft

    (May 12, 2019 - 3:47 pm)

    I am really enjoying the theme/design of your weblog. Do you ever
    run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A handful of my blog visitors have complained about my blog not working correctly in Explorer but looks
    great in Opera. Do you have any advice to help fix this issue?

  • g

    (May 14, 2019 - 12:15 am)

    It’s going to be ending of mine day, however before end I am reading this wonderful paragraph to improve
    my experience.

  • minecraft free

    (May 14, 2019 - 12:39 pm)

    Wonderful, what a web site it is! This blog gives useful
    information to us, keep it up.

  • how to download minecraft free

    (May 14, 2019 - 11:57 pm)

    I don’t even know how I ended up right here, however I thought this publish used to be good.

    I do not recognise who you are but certainly you are going to
    a famous blogger should you aren’t already. Cheers!

  • minecraft download pc

    (May 15, 2019 - 5:02 pm)

    I am extremely impressed with your writing abilities as
    well as with the format to your weblog. Is that this a paid subject matter or did
    you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s uncommon to look a nice
    weblog like this one today..

  • mojang minecraft download

    (May 17, 2019 - 1:01 am)

    Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on this
    blog loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end
    or if it’s the blog. Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *