Means To The End

 



People look at me smiling and laughing all the time, but to some, I’m a serious bald headed man with a pale life and a very silent world. There’s something that life has taught me, that I cannot rely upon other people’s happiness to be happy myself. You can’t share what you don’t have.

I like being passionate about what I do, and along that way of life, I make mistakes, some of which have hurt others and myself. But I always refuse to remain in the pool of sadness caused by my misdeeds. Things happen; you do stuff that you are not so proud of sometimes. That’s the reality of life. But to allow yourself to be haunted by the ghosts of emotions you can handle is the saddest thing that could happen to you.

It’s not easy to carry yourself up and start a new journey that begins a new path. You will have to sweat, cry, slip, crawl, get disappointed and sometimes bullied. If you can’t face reality, there’s nothing else you can face in this world, because then it would mean you would feel sad and not admit it, you would fall in love and not admit it, you would make mistakes and not admit you did, and you will hurt other people but imagine that you are as perfect as heaven.

Understand this; everyone’s walk is personal. I’ve had to explain my love and passion for poetry to so many people, but they don’t get it, including my dad. He doesn’t get how I can be back home as late as 1 a.m that I’m from a poetry event – like what do we do there? 

But I understand, because it’s not about him or them. It’s about what I believe in and why. Most of us let hindrances prevent us from making a life, because our environment – the people around us, just want us to earn a living. But I say, if I make a life, I will earn a living. That’s killing two birds with one stone. It isn’t as easy as it may sound. I remember having to hustle to get performance slots in Nairobi’s poetry scene. I just didn’t know how to give up.

Pain is beautiful. One Lillian Paps Kimari has an amazing poem on that. Shall share it with you guys one of these fine days. The thing about me, is that I choose to face my fears. I like playing the fool and be seemed like I don’t know what I’m doing. I like being small because it helps me see the world in a big way. It pays to be little. And people might not think you are smart enough to enjoy their acquaintance or love, but you know, when you meet those who really understand you, life will start to make sense.

There is so much to live for if only we taught ourselves to always focus on the big picture. We shall never be perfect people. That’s why we need friends, critics, and enemies maybe. When you got your heart and mind focused on this one thing that you are so passionate about, the sun will shine, it shall rain, the wind will blow, you shall fall, but you will never let go of your passion because it is who you are, and the last person you want to let go of is yourself.

You are priceless; unaffordable. I am priceless; unaffordable. We are priceless; unaffordable.

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Post Author: Eric Onyango Otieno

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