I get bewildered when preachers tell single men and women to wait upon the Lord for spouses yet give no further advice on how exactly to do that. It results to passiveness on the part of the receivers of the message who end up thinking that God is gonna drop them someone to love like manna from heaven. Many young modern Christians suffer from lack of wisdom. Yes, we could term it as a disease.
James 1:17 – Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
I know. I also know that God expects us to be patient with Him. There is a thin line between faith and foolishness, however, if recent tendency of acquiring a spouse by staunch Christians is anything to go by. Why would there be anything like a staunch Christian anyway? Well, story for another day.
I believe in God. I however do not think that each one of the people who wish to marry have a predestined partner waiting for them somewhere. I could be wrong. However, it is in my opinion that we also have a role to play in making things work in our lives.
When you trust God for something, there has to be some effort that you are ready to put in so that God may bless you out of your faith, because faith is an action – a doing word. You practice it. The phrase – faith can move mountains – does not mean you can sit there and move a mountain with your eyes. It takes sweat to trust in God. There are many things one can opt to do out of their own wisdom to counter their problems in life. But do not misunderstand me. It is not by works that God blesses us.
Some people have had the idea that trusting in God for a spouse simply means praying that He gives them a good man or woman out of the blue. That there is nothing they have to do. He will just answer their prayers someday and that person will just appear then they would just feel right.
Jesus is God, the Son. He had the greatest faith among the people of his time. He prayed to God, the Father, for strength and will. He knew he had a purpose on earth and that is to save mankind. So what did he do? He taught people about the Kingdom of God. He healed the sick and did all these other miracles in different places. If he wanted, he would have built a house and waited for people to come so they could get healed from his home. He would have ordered storms to calm and the hungry to be fed by mere words at the comfort of his bed. But what did he do? He was right there in the middle of the action all the time. He went out to work, met people and connected with them. Also, if he wanted, he would have made his body pain-proof when it was time to get crucified. He allowed himself to get mocked by mere mortals who had no idea whom they were messing with. He stuck through it all to the point of his death. He never let his spiritual superiority control his temper nor his mind. He had the option of telling God to choose someone else for the work of salvation, or perhaps ask Him to make the whole process painless. He prayed and worked.
As for us, it makes no sense to simply pray and stop there. Your spouse won’t come knocking on your door and say that they have been sent by the Lord. We have to begin being practical Christians, not textbook believers. For God sake, go out and meet people. Establish contacts and be open minded. Understand people’s character variations and it will help you figure out what you really want in your ideal partner. Talk to God through the whole process. Do not run ahead of Him. That’s where most of us go wrong and I have played culprit to the same. He knows what we want. The journey is slow to getting there. It needs nerve and character.
In this age, you will meet many people who seem to have the characteristics of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It’s not like the olden days when it was easy to know much about someone within a short time. Today, you have to be wiser and more resilient. You have to work with God vigorously by heart but be humble at the same time.
It will help to be more social. Open up to people at church, and at work. Attend events whose activities you can enjoy. It does not mean that you literally go searching or make it your main agenda in life. But it is easier to meet someone you pray to God for if you open yourself to life. You attract who you are and the only way to get to know people with whom you share many things is to get out there and have a life.
But remember the words of Matthew 6:33. That we should seek first the Kingdom of God and everything else shall be added unto us. Be sure you are ready for a relationship only if you are at peace with your God – that you have a communion with Him and that you have healed from your past. Some of us pray for men/women who would help us cover our past pains or cure our loneliness. It doesn’t work like that. God cannot be mocked. Be contented with having Christ first. We don’t fall in love to be completed, but to be complimented. Christ has already completed us.
Mark 10:7-8 – ”For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one.”
Note that it states, ‘…and the two will become one flesh’, meaning these are two whole beings being conjoined by marriage. They are individual entities which can survive without one another. One is not a pre-requisite of the other. So if you feel lonely, work on that feeling by yourself first before thinking on pouring your insecure feelings on someone who does not deserve it.
If you are single, yes, wait upon the Lord, but pray while doing something. Also, do not lean on your own understanding as we are told in Proverbs 3:5. But still, you can decide what works best for you. You know yourself more than anyone else.
Either way, it is important that you still pray for that special person you want to meet, by faith.
Matthew 21:21-22 – Jesus replied, ”I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”
Do not be fooled. It is not a cheap thing to do but priceless when you achieve it.