The heart sparkles with emotions that very time you’ve found someone new. It’s like a whirlwind that hits you! You want that feeling to stay infinite. It tastes special, fragrant and unique. It gets into you the more you spend time with them. We all love it. Oh! Even the aged. It respects them not.
There are those funny things we find ourselves doing for the people we love most either to attract their attention or simply to express our affection. You will call or text at 3a.m, live on debts just to buy them something they really treasure, talk to them for the longest hours, delay assignments just because you want to hear them speak, look into their eyes or something, hold their hands in public to show everyone else how much they belong to you alone, and alike. We know these things, we’ve all done them.
There is a force that drives you to grow fond of someone so deeply to the extent of easily forgiving them whenever they wrong you, even when they do you the weirdest stuff that hell considers foreign. It’s one of those things that are so hard to control. It’s like an intoxication of blindness. You never want to see them hurt so you put your heart on the line all the time and make all manner of sacrifices for their well being even when it is crystal clear that you are suffering. And it’s easy to pretend that everything is under control and that you’ve got it all figured out.
There are two types of violence in a relationship; physical and emotional. Both are severe. Of course we are all conversant with the implications of the latter. The emotional bit is where most of us choose to die in. You may have a partner who will never raise their hands to hit you when they’re mad but they’re just totally emotionally absent. You will do everything in your capacity to see to it that you express your love for them, at least according to the highest standards of your knowledge and feelings, but they never seem to appreciate your efforts. And it nags most when they just laugh it off.
What most of us do; decide to give them time, which is actually the right thing, just to see if they will try. And if they don’t improve, we begin living in denial, that it is all well or maybe so and so was created that way. You die in the silence, simply out of the fear of losing this person. You love them too much to confront them over an issue that needs such urgent address. They hurt you and take it lightly, knowing at the back of their mind that you will definitely forgive them. Some even go to the extent of humiliating you in front of their friends. This, am relating more to unmarried couples. Yes, they say love is all about patience, and all that, but that does not stop you from being human – a piece of moulded frame that’s made of flesh and prone to pain.
The more you hurt in silence, the more you harm your personality, self esteem, your ability to be logic, your creativity and freedom. You literally become a zombie, a slave to self imposed imprisonment. Yes, your partner could be the best guy or lady you have not met in the countless relationships you’ve had before. You definitely fear another break up. I used to think that holding all that pain means that I am strong, but I was so wrong. It reached a point where my heart could no longer hold on to crap. You just be open to someone and tell them what you feel and what you suggest ought to be done to tackle the situation at hand.
Some people take advantage of you when they realize you love them too much. Love, in the case of a relationship, only makes sense when it is mutual. In fact, a relationship has no direction when it is one way. It is in the actions someone does that shows you the intensity of their love for you. Words are just what they are – words. Actions shape the roots of our feelings. Words just water the plants that come out of them.
It is okay to do a few foolish things for love, but stuff takes a different turn when you become stupid just because you love someone too much. Let go! Just let go! Free yourself from that bondage and begin living again. There are many people out there who will appreciate your hard work and love you back. Break away from those chains! It does not matter how deep the relationship has gone nor how much you have messed up! It has nothing to do with your past, but has everything to do with your present and your future. I decided to take control of my life. It’s your turn now. If you really want to be happy, you must be prepared to face the truth.
There are no real institutions on the ground to emancipate young people from these kind of societal challenges. If anything, publishing this text in print or online may not make the impact that coincides with the seriousness of its message. But maybe because you have read it and perhaps relate to it in one way or another, you have gained something and you will pass this precious little information to someone whom you think really needs it at this time.